Sure, let's think about this as a simple story:

1. **The Scary Situation**: Imagine you're in a playground, and someone spreads a rumor that aliens are going to land and take everyone away in just 11 minutes. You might get really scared and want to do something to protect yourself.

2. **Cashin's Idea**: So, Art Cashin (let's call him Art) thought, "I should sell all my toys so I have nothing the aliens can take!" But he couldn't because everyone was too busy being scared.

3. **Art's Boss**: Then Art's boss comes along and says something like, "Why are you trying to get rid of your toys? Even if aliens do come, they won't be here forever, right? And even if the world ends, who are you going to give your toys to afterwards?"

4. **The Lesson**: So, Art learned a big lesson that day: You shouldn't worry too much about things that might not happen or only happen once in a very long time. It's like saying, "Don't bet on something ending completely because you won't be around to collect if it does."

5. **Other Wise Sayings**: Art also said other funny and wise things:
- If you really want something for your birthday, you should be happy with any gift you get.
- On quiet days at work, he would joke that the day was a waste because nothing exciting happened.
- He liked his steak cooked in any way except so it goes through his heart!
- And finally, he said you should always know where the exits are when you enter a room, just in case. Read from source...

In your request to critique the given story about Art Cashin and Barry Ritholtz's dinner conversation, I'll focus on potential inconsistencies, biases, irrational arguments, or emotional behaviors. However, it's essential to note that this piece is more anecdotal and entertaining than a factual news article, so some leeway should be given for storytelling liberties.

1. **Inconsistencies**:
- *Time frame*: The story jumps between the timeline of the Cuban Missile Crisis (October 1962) and Art Cashin's later career without clear transitions.
- *Cashin's role*: It's unclear what role Cashin held during the Cuban Missile Crisis. He refers to his boss, but it's not specified if he was a trader or had another position.

2. **Biases**:
- The story might be biased towards presenting Art Cashin as a wise and experienced Wall Street veteran based on his age (60+ years in the business) and colorful anecdotes. It doesn't mention any potential controversies or missteps he may have had throughout his career.
- There appears to be a confirmation bias, as the story reinforces Ritholtz's perspective that Cashin is "a Wall Street legend."

3. **Irrational arguments**:
- The main takeaway from Cashin's boss – that one should go long in the event of the apocalypse because there will be no one to settle trades with – is somewhat irrational. This thought experiment doesn't hold up when considering that markets and trading entities would likely not function under such extreme circumstances.
- The advice given by Cashin later, "You never bet on the end of the world," might seem rational, but it's phrased in a way that makes it sound like an event with astronomically low odds (once every eternity). In reality, even low-probability events can have significant consequences.

4. **Emotional behavior**:
- The story captures emotional responses to high-stakes events, such as fear during the Cuban Missile Crisis and possibly joy or pride when Cashin shares his anecdotes. However, it doesn't provide direct quotes or detailed descriptions of these emotions.
- Some humor and wit are exhibited in Cashin's quotes, which could be seen as an emotional response or coping mechanism for dealing with stress and uncertainty in the financial world.

5. **Lack of sources and verification**:
- The story relies on a single source (Barry Ritholtz) recalling Art Cashin's story about the Cuban Missile Crisis.
- It's not specified if Ritholtz is directly quoting Cashin or recounting a story that was told to him secondhand.
- There are no other sources, such as historical records or independent confirmation from other market participants at the time, to verify the events described.

Neutral. The article shares anecdotes and quotes from Art Cashin, a Wall Street legend, but it doesn't espouse any particular sentiment towards the markets or financial topics in general. It presents his stories and wisdom in a neutral manner for readers to interpret as they see fit.

Based on the information provided, here are some comprehensive investment recommendations along with associated risks:

1. **System New Conservative ETF:**
- *Recommendation:* Consider this new ETF if you align with its conservative investment strategy and support its objectives of investing in S&P 500 without considering Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) factors.
- *Potential Risks:*
- *Performance Risk:* The ETF's approach might underperform competitors that integrate DEI factors, as studies suggest companies with diverse leadership tend to perform better financially.
- *Reputational Risk:* Investing in a fund without DEI considerations could face criticism from Environmental, Social, and Governance (ESG) investors and draw negative attention.
- *Market Sentiment Risk:* The market's perception of DEI is changing, and ignoring these factors might make the ETF less attractive to an growing number of investors in the long run.

2. **Valuable investment lessons from Art Cashin:**
- *Recommendation:* Incorporate the following insights into your investing strategy:
- Don't bet on unlikely events (e.g., the end of the world).
- Manage expectations and don't narrow down your possibilities too much, as you might miss out on other opportunities.
- Be aware of emergency exits in any situation to minimize risks.
- Focus on long-term perspectives rather than short-term market fluctuations.
- *Risks/Rewards:* While these insights can help investors make more informed decisions, applying them might still carry inherent market risks. Successful application depends on individual investment strategies and understanding how these lessons apply in specific situations.

3. **General investing advice:**
- *Recommendation:* Diversify your portfolio to spread risk.
- *Potential Risks:*
- Failing to diversify exposes you to greater losses if a single investment performs poorly or the market moves against it.
- Insufficient diversification could lead to lower overall returns and increased volatility.

Always remember that past performance is not indicative of future results, and there's no guaranteed path to success in investing. It's essential to do thorough research, consider your risk tolerance, and stay up-to-date with market trends when making investment decisions. Consulting with a financial advisor can also help you develop an appropriate strategy for your individual needs.

*Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as investment advice. Always consult with a professional before making any financial decisions.*